From time to time here at Clash of the Nerds we will feature movie reviews from our good friend and very funny Stand-Up comic Tyler Richardson. A brief history on Tyler is that he’s one of my and Nelson’s old school chum who is now making people crack up nearly nightly in New York City. He’s also a film reviewer over at Latino-Review and he’s given us permission to use his movie reviews as they relate to Video game and Comic book movies. So here is our first guest review from our good friend Tyler. Click here by the way if you want to check out his work at Latino review.
Genetically engineered from conception to be the perfect killing machine, he’s the culmination of decades of research, endowed with unprecedented strength, speed, stamina and intelligence. Known only as Agent 47 (Rupert Friend), his latest target is a corporation that plans to unlock the secret of his past to create an army of killers even more powerful than him. With help from a young woman, the elite assassin confronts revelations about his own origins in an epic battle with his deadliest foe.
Right off the bat, I like how Hitman: Agent 47 (Hitman) began. The opening credits explain what agents are, who created them, and the plot for the movie we are watching. There’s no need to waste our time with that. This allows for the filmmaker to drop us right into the action without boring is with an origin story most know already. Where was I? Ah, let’s start with the Agent.
47 is very different from the last agent we saw star in a Hitman movie. This agent is cold, and scary; like a serial killer. We begin the film rooting against 47. All we know is that he’s an unstoppable killing machine, and we see plenty of proof. In the early credits we see him using what I’m going to call “Gun-kedo.” He is brutal, and we witness many different types of executions throughout the film that accentuate how well he is programmed.
47 is very loyal to the video game. As someone that played a few of the popular Hitman titles, it was refreshing to see this translation to film. The deaths up front echoed memories I had from late night dorm playing. The stealth, which was crucial to the game, comes into play and is highlighted in this movie. There’s even a tutorial on stealth kills that seemed like a nice wink. 47’s intelligence is on display throughout the film, as much as his deadly prowess, and due to some of the puzzles in the video games, I enjoyed that.
The movie revolves around Katya, a young woman trying to find her father almost as badly as the Syndicate organization. She has been programmed with her own set of skills to survive. She is not a damsel in distress to be dragged around by the hero. Which I loved, considering some marketing material where 47 leads her by the hand. Katya’s naivety, and lack of being a trained killer since childhood, allow some humorous dialogue. It was also a nice way to do some origin backtracking without coming right out and explaining it all in a long flashback.
John Smith (Zachary Quinto)… well, this is where I began to lose my enthusiasm. When we first meet John, it’s hard to know if we can trust him. But, he is able to stand toe-to-toe with 47. That’s says a lot considering the fact that 47 is presented like a juggernaut. But, once we know exactly who John Smith’s employer is, his character begins to feel cheesy. Can I use that term? Oh well, it fits. Having said that, he does get to take part in some great fight scenes though.
The dialogue leaves a lot to be desired. There were so many bad lines, and clichés from other action movies, I couldn’t write them down fast enough. That was Hitman’s greatest fault. All the effort put into making it a visual spectacle but when people speak to one another it feels like it’s pulled from a 1980’s video game. The theme of “we are not who we’re programmed to be, we are our actions” or something to that effect; was beat past death.
What caught my attention?
- The sounds of bullets entering people, and bones breaking was visceral. The R rating was well used.
- The Audi chase in Singapore deserves to be a commercial. Looking at you Audi.
- The customer changing brought back the feeling of playing Hitman. Nothing felt better than killing a guard and walking past his co-workers out the front door. Well, maybe a really big sandwich.
- Agent 90, you’ll see.
So, do I think that Hitman is worth spending your hard earned money on? Yes, but only if you’re looking for a decent video game to movie adaption. Do not going in expecting The Dark Knight. As I mentioned, some of the lines were laughable. On several occasions I heard a critic burst into laughter behind me. But, this is the Hitman I expected when I heard Fox was taking another crack at it. If you see it in theaters, feel free to let us know what you thought. Thanks for reading!