Battle Grounds

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In honor of Mad Max: Fury Road and the Mad Max Video game being released today, our Battle Grounds is going post-apocalyptic!  Today Nelson and I debate which post-apocalyptic movie universe we’d like to live in and then debate who’s right.  Here’s a hint, I’m right.  Nelson, as usual go ahead and start.

Nelson:  Alrighty, the post-apocalyptic world I’ve chosen is Zombieland. I chose this specifically because it set its rules right at the beginning and didn’t waiver, so it seems to be the most consistent. Given its consistency, I don’t have to worry about fast transformations like those of 28 days later or world war z, supplies seem to be easier to come across, and the infrastructure of the United States has not decayed to the point of failure. Overall the world of Zombieland though seeming like the “Vaction home” of zombie worlds still also has the potential brutality of its other movie (and TV) counterparts, but I have better odds at survival.

Josh:  Not a bad pick, my pick though would be the Matrix.  The reason why I chose this movie universe is that I don’t know I’m in a dystopian future.  As far as I’m concerned I’m just living my normal life going to my normal job and my life isn’t threaten by psychos, zombies, aliens, or killer robots.  I just get up go to work, write for a web site, play video games and drink scotch.  It’s the best post-apocalyptic world you can hope for.

Nelson:  That’s not a bad pick either. And I’d have picked that IF and only if it was one of two scenarios, IF I was the one OR I had no knowledge of the the truth. Anywhere in between really kinda sucks. It sucks because you’ll either reach your limit very quickly and STILL don’t stand a chance or you’re living in Zion. With Zombieland there’s still tons of danger but this is essentially going back to basics. As much as I love my Xbox, smartphone, laptop and etc, I don’t really need it to live. Not to mention if the matrix reality is anything like it is out here right now in the real world, I’d rather have the zombies. At least if one pisses me off I can kill it and not worry about legal repercussions just possible swarming and zombification.

Josh:  Don’t lie, you need your xbox and iphone to live, you don’t fool me Sayson!  But back to the argument, of all the zombie movies and shows to pick from you choose one where they run!  Why oh why would you pick one where they run, I’ve seen you run, you’re not out running the Usane Bolt of Zombies, you’re fucked.  Also I wouldn’t want to be the one in the Matrix because then you know the truth.  I’d take which other color pill made me forget if I was approached by Morphius, I wouldn’t want to know the truth.  Everytime someone in a movie offers you the truth  your life is about to get shitty, fuck that noise.  Also you know what, if you die in the matrix it’s pretty much the same as real life, natural causes or murder, or you know a death that happens to you in the real world, which means odds are it’s when you’re old.  In Zombieland, odds are your death is going to be pretty painful as you’re eaten alive and if you’re lucky you’re dead and not another zombie, because you know what, we don’t know what it’s like to be a zombie, it could be like the Metallica video for One, you could be trapped in your own mind just watching your corpse wander around.

Nelson:  Ok, that’s not how I really run. Don’t ask me why I do that stupid jog, but that’s not how I’d out run zombies. Also you’re forgetting the fact that as a part of the matrix blind to the truth that you’re one mod away from being a zombie anyway because and I quote ” the dead is liquefied and fed intravenously to the living”. One patch from some dick hacker and you’re living in COD: Zombies. Not to mention I can hide from zombies can’t really hide from agents nor would I stand a chance going toe to toe with one. Living in that kind of digital world has too many unforeseen variable introduced by “reloaded” and “revolutions” for my tastes.

Josh:  I assume that if I was in the Matrix I’d just be me so I highly doubt any hacker or agent would fuck with me, nor would I be in the way of Neo or his friends.  I’d be fine living my life in ignorance of the war.  Yes you can hide from the Zombies but as we’ve seen in every zombie movie and show, hiding only lasts for so long.  Eventually some horde of zombies would stumble upon you or you’d have to fight off some bandits or just retreat.  Either way your life would be in constant danger and each day you’d wonder if today is the day you die horribly.  Mine might be boring but it’s safe.

Nelson:  You’re right, my life would be in constant danger, but you getting to live a boring life inside the matrix the way you want is “best case scenario” truth be told if you’re anywhere close to where shits going down that requires an agent, you’re just as likely to have one jump into you. Or just be in the wrong place wrong time (see the freeway scene in Reloaded) and your survival rate drops dramatically. From what I understand of the matrix, I believe the world is just the one city, making it more likely to run into those terrorists.

Josh:  I still have an Xbox and iPhone!

Nelson:  Damn! Touché!

There you have it dear reader, our picks for the “ideal” (if there is such a thing) post-apocalyptic world.  What one would pick?  Zombies (preferably the slow kind), the Matrix, Terminator, Mad Max, or one of the many, many others that exist in books, video games, or movies, please comment below and let us know.

Also Mad Max: Fury Road is out on Blu-Ray and DVD today and is pretty fucking awesome (you can use that quote in the commercials WB) as well as the Mad Max Video Game out for Xbox One, PS4 and PC.

Also, if you’ve never seen Metallica’s One, what the hell is wrong with you.  Check it out below.

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About Josh McCain 975 Articles
Where are my manners, allow myself to introduce... ah... myself. I'm Josh, I'm a proud dad and I will probably write the majority of the content you see on this site (and editing 100% of it) because that's my background, writing. I'm an author of two books (Ripper, and Suburban Sky: American Tales) with books three and four on the way... eventually. I also have experience writing for various sites, including Bleacher Report, Redskins101, and more currently you can find me at Goingfor2.com where I write a weekly-ish satirical column. Here are the links to my books if you wish to check them out. Click here for Ripper: http://goo.gl/YGKNSj Click here for Suburban Skies: http://goo.gl/1zrZ6d So that's me in a nutshell. I hope you enjoy the site.

2 Comments

  1. Ok, Nelson you are bald face lying if you believe that you do not need technology to live, at least Josh is transcendent enough to admit it.

  2. Don’t Mistake my enthusiasm for technology as a sign of dependence. I too grew up in the time before the internet, and we did not have a lot of money back then either, so I’m not afraid of the idea of going back to that. I’m not saying that it wouldn’t suck and that i wouldn’t miss it. As for my pick, Just because YOU don’t like a genre that the majority does NOT make it low hanging fruit, and I will be the first one to complain about how stupid people are. Sure there are many properties that are catered to that crowd (IE Strippers vs Zombies) but saying that zombie a zombie apocalypse is some how inferior to the things you’ve mentioned i take major issue with. Waterworld is a terrible movie and since I’m not a good swimmer I sure as hell wasn’t going to choose that. Your dismissal of the genre is heavy handed and down right stupid. What good zombie movies like night of the living dead, dawn of the dead, the walking dead, 28 days later, and Warm Bodies bring to the table is an experiment in Social Psychology, Sociology, and Philosophy albeit in an over-the-top manner. Its the struggle of people forced with retuning to a pre-modern way of life and having to adapt to a world where humans are no longer the “top-of-the-food-chain”/apex predators of the world. this situation forces them to rethink how they handle challenges, and sometimes to a brutal degree. In Night of the living Dead, at the time the movie came out in 1968, we were still in the midst of the Civil rights movement and this movie A.) had a Black man as protagonist opposite a White female which was not done. this movie put the characters in a situation where they were forced to over look their trivial biases so that they could survive and yet some of the other characters struggled with that notion. And take YOUR favorite Warm Bodies. This movie throws in yet another element of how to deal with people who have been infected with a serious disease, and whether they can be let back into society. out of your alternatives I’ve seen 1 movie which was Waterworld and I’ve never heard of the others except 1984 and hunger games. How dare you come in here, and pick a fight armed with Water Friggin World and the Hunger Games (which by the way, Im not a 13 year old girl, Im not watching hunger games or ever argue on its behalf) you couldn’t even hit me with Battle Royal? Book of Eli? how about Escape from New York, Judge Dread, Soylent Green, Planet of the Apes, Heavy Metal, hell I think Clock Work Orange counts too.

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