Addressing the Ewok Hate

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Growing up I always loved the Ewoks, granted the first time I saw the Star Wars Trilogy I was roughly five years old so naturally seeing kick ass teddy bears murder the shit out of Stormtroopers was pretty awesome (side note, one of the DLC packs for Battlefront better be some fucking Ewok characters, I’ll straight murder some mofo with Wickett).

As I’ve gotten older though I’ve noticed a lot of hate against the saviors of the Rebellion, and yes they were the saviors of the Rebellion.  To quote Marshall Erickson of How I Met Your Mother, “I don’t know why people are so cynical about Ewoks, the Rebellion would have failed without Ewoks.”

If it wasn’t for the Ewoks the Rebels wouldn’t have made it to the shield generator as quickly as they did, remember the Ewoks showed Han and the gang a short cut, and after the Rebels were captured it was a distraction by the Ewoks that freed them.  Not to mention it didn’t appear that the Rebels has anything to take down an AT-ST, but guess who did?  The mother fucking Ewoks did.

Hate on them all you want because you’re some fucking dumb shit hipster who thinks the Prequels are better than the originals (by the way, there is a special circle of hell devoted just for you) but if it wasn’t for the Ewoks than the Galactic Empire would have won and we wouldn’t have gotten the kick ass Episode VII that we were gifted this Christmas.

Also to further prove my point check out this video of Cracked’s Dan O’Brian outlining how Ewoks are secretly terrifying.

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About Josh McCain 984 Articles
Where are my manners, allow myself to introduce... ah... myself. I'm Josh, I'm a proud dad and I will probably write the majority of the content you see on this site (and editing 100% of it) because that's my background, writing. I'm an author of two books (Ripper, and Suburban Sky: American Tales) with books three and four on the way... eventually. I also have experience writing for various sites, including Bleacher Report, Redskins101, and more currently you can find me at where I write a weekly-ish satirical column. Here are the links to my books if you wish to check them out. Click here for Ripper: Click here for Suburban Skies: So that's me in a nutshell. I hope you enjoy the site.

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